Counting down

We are counting down the days until we close on our new house. I can't wait!!! The first thing I am going to do is paint Matthew's room. His room needs to look like a baby's room if that is the only one that we paint in the whole house. I just wish we knew someone in Miami that would be able to help us out with moving and everything.

I am convinced that Matthew needs no distractions throughout his day to have a good day eating. For example, if we go somewhere in the morning he usually has a bad day. If we go out to eat at night and are at home for the whole day he handles that very well. Even though he still resists sometimes for the most part things have gotten a whole lot better. He doesn't fuss as long and will latch back on. Tonight he had reflux problems so I fed him about 15 minutes on the breast and then some oatmeal. He liked the oatmeal a lot and fell asleep for about 2 hours before his bedtime meal.

When we have our next baby I will be ready for all of these obstacles.

Looking back at Matthew's first few evenings in this world I will leave you with one of his very first pictures. What a sweet little angel he was those few nights in the hospital!!!

Church Day!!

We all went to church today. Next week we are going to take Matthew to the nursery to see how it goes. We also found out about this program they have the first Friday of every month called Parent's Night Out. The babysitting service is only $10 per child. We are very interested in doing this because we need a night out every now and then.

After church we went to Chevy's one of our favorite Mexican restaurants. Matthew behaved somewhat well...I think he was getting tired because he normally takes a nap after his morning feeding. I was able to nurse him during the service. He is doing much better with his feeding. Today he wanted to nurse like every two hours when we got home from church and lunch.

We have a very exciting week ahead.

Monday---I teach piano lessons and Seth has to start studying for his Doctoral qualifying exams that are in mid-August. He also has rehearsals for the opera he is playing in two weeks on Monday and Wednesday evening.

Tuesday---Nothing is scheduled so we can just sit around and relax all day.

Wednesday---We should probably start packing and clean up a little

Thursday---We see the house for the first time!!! I can't wait. Also, Seth's father and step-mom are coming over for the day to visit.

Friday--More prep for our move. I really don't see how I am going to get this all done in time!!!

I hope everyone has a great night!

Sleepy Saturday

HUH!!??!!

Today was a sleepy Saturday because all three of us slept pretty much all day long. This morning I woke Matthew up at around 9:30. He didn't want to get up but he needed to eat so we could get our 6-8 feedings in for the day. After he ate, I fell back to sleep while he and Seth did something (I was asleep and thanking every minute for Seth taking care of my little guy for the day). At around noon I got up (yes, noon) and fed Matthew again. Seth and I ate lunch and then settled back in after feeding Matthew around 2. Matthew and I slept from around 3 til 6:30!!! I guess I was very tired today. Now I probably will not be able to sleep tonight but it was great to have one of those lazy days that I used to have before Matthew was born. Our feedings were GREAT today!!! He was only grumpy for 2 instead of his usual 4 or 5. He also pooped (I know that is gross) 4 times today!!! I hope this means that he is getting back on track. Seth and I both feel that every time we pick him up he gains another pound. I am so glad to have my normal little Matthew back. Thank God I didn't listen to the Lactation Consultant and stop breastfeeding...I really think we are going to make this work!!!

We are all so desperate to move into our house. Tonight we decided to drive by the house in the evening so we could see what it was like at night. I am afraid that people are going to start getting suspicious of our car because we drive by once a day now. Neither one of us can actually believe that we will be living in a house in less than 2 weeks!!! I can't wait until Thursday because that is the inspection day where we can see the house on the inside.

I hope everyone has a great Sunday!!!

Take care

2 steps forward--1 step back

OK. I am still convinced that things are going to get better however, Matthew was very fussy with his eating this afternoon and evening. We had a great morning...it was like it used to be for a few feedings and I was on cloud nine but then...he apparently was hurting and didn't feel too much like eating for the last few feedings. I feel like hitting my head against a brick wall sometimes. Oh well, I am still going to keep on my plan to keep him breast feeding.

We drove by our house today and they have the driveway and sidewalk finished...it looks like all they have left is the landscaping and a top coat of paint on the house. I can't wait until next Thursday when we get to take the tour and do the first inspection. We will have an opportunity to have them make repairs and then we will officially close on June 24th.

Anyway, I hate to cut this post short tonight but I am extremely tired.

Have a great night!!!

Oh Happy Day!!!

Wow, God is truly good!!! One of my dearest friends once told me that God doesn't give you anything you can't handle. Today I found that statement to be so true!!! Just when I was about to give up on breastfeeding Matthew decided to have a much better day with his eating. We did not have to give him a single bottle because he ate an average of 25 minutes at each feeding. Sometimes I just wish he could just look at me and say "Momma this is what is wrong with me right now" and proceed to explain what is bothering him. I would gladly help him out if I knew what was wrong!!!

Today I decided to go back to the theory that his reflux was/is bothering him. I noticed that he would latch on and immediately arch his back and pull off. He wouldn't have any milk and then he would do this. After Seth read at the La Leche League site that babies sometime start associating pain with eating and stop eating we decided to try some of their suggested positions for nursing. After repositioning to Matthew being stomach to stomach or on his side he would fuss a little but on average eat for 10-15 minutes on each side. He was still fussy at times but he would more easily calm down and nurse. Please keep praying that this is the beginning of a much more agreeable nursing experience!!!

As for the Fenugreek...I think it is working. Since I am taking the supplement and making position changes in the nursing it is hard to say what is working. I am going to continue to take the Fenugreek and do everything we did today. I feel so much better about this situation. Today I asked God to make it extremely clear to me if I should start switching to formula...I said that I didn't want any subtle advice on this because I am defiantly thinking with my heart and I hope I am reading his answers right but it looks like the direction is to continue to nurse. More assurance came when I put little Matthew on my chest and he rooted to my breast and started nursing (just like a newborn). He was even crying and very upset while he was doing this. I believe that he still wants to nurse but he also wants to not hurt with his reflux. Hopefully we can make all of this happen for a long time to come.

Changing the subject completely...we are getting closer and closer to our closing date on our house. Today the mortgage company emailed to let us know that after we give them the last bit of info they need that we are fully approved to purchase the house. I guess with the housing market so low there are many more regulations and information that the companies and banks need to get approved. We have a realtor coming to the condo tomorrow to sign us up for a rental on this place. I hope we find someone to rent and soon because I do not know how we will be able to make ends meet after we get into the house. The picture is of the house a few days ago...since this picture was taken they have installed the accordion hurricane shutters and the lights on either side of the garage door.

Well it is time for bed...as Matthew peacefully sleeps (on a full stomach THANK GOD!!!) I realize how thankful I am for such a healthy little guy. There are so many babies out there that are born with lots of disabilities and illnesses so at least we have a minor problem with Matthew just being a little bit small. He is still meeting all of his developmental milestones. He smiles, laughs, holds his head up, lifts his head very high during "tummy time", rolls over, sleeps through the night, plays with toys, brings the toys to his mouth, and is eating solid foods without the tongue reflex pushing the food back. I am sure that I am forgetting a few but I know he is a happy, strong, and healthy baby that is truly loved by his mom and dad!!!

P.S. Matthew is also trying to sit up already. Soon I hope!!!

Snack Time!!!

I have a plan of action!!! I am going to continue nursing Matthew and after each feeding I will go and pump to encourage more milk production. Also, I have been reading about a herbal supplement called Fenugreek and I started taking the minimum dose of that today. This supplement is supposed to increase milk production. I am not ready to give up on the nursing just yet and I hope that we can have better days and weight gain in the weeks ahead. This morning Matthew nursed like a dream and the evening feeding was great too. We have to work on the 4 inbetween. I did end up giving him 3 ounces of pumped milk today in addition to our feedings. Thank God I have Seth here to help me with all of these changes. Keep praying for us that we can make it all work out and continue our breastfeeding. I absolutely love being able to give Matthew what he needs. I will keep everyone posted on the Fenugreek success or failure.








Matthew had a treat tonight. We have a mesh teether and I had froze some Bananas and Mixed Berries baby food and put some of it into the teether. He absolutely loved every suck and bite of it. He started shoving the whole mesh part into his mouth and sucking vigorously. It was so cool to see him enjoy his little baby icey!!! After he finished the snack he started crying for more (I sometimes cry for more snack too) but we kept him occupied with toys and he loved watching So You Think You Can Dance. He also had about 3 ounces of Green Beans tonight!!!

Matthew might be a little guy...but...he is very strong. He has this new game that he plays after we change his diaper. He will actually grab my hands and pull up into a sitting position. Sometimes he actually pulls up into a standing position!!! He loves doing this because he is proud that he is acting more like a big boy. You can see the pride and confidence beaming in his facial expression.

I think Seth loves being at home with us now. He gets to play with Matthew and help me out. I love having him here because I can actually eat lunch without having to worry if he starts crying, or needs a diaper change.

I can't believe that this time last year I was just starting out on this journey that is such a blessing. This time last year I was 12 weeks pregnant and scared out of my mind. Since I had just had a miscarriage (back in January of last year) every little pain or spotting that happened sent me into a complete frenzy of worry. I remember saying..."When we make it to the next appointment I will feel better." Honestly, I never 'felt better' until I was stareing at my little Matthew on the evening of Dec. 29, 2008. What a truly marvolus adventure God has led Seth and me on. I, secretly, can't wait for the next!!!

Hunger Strike!!!!

So either Matthew is attempting to wean himself from me or he is developing a hunger strike. The LC #5 today thinks he is ready to move on from breastfeeding. Honestly, I do not know what to think about that!!! At first I was completely devastated. I know that I am not ready emotionally to 'move on' and have him wean from me...but I want to do what is best for my little guy. I feel so rejected and alone right now.

Moving on...Matthew had a dermatologist appointment today for his hemangiomia (sp?) and I was hoping that the doc would take him off the propranolol completely today but she wants him on it for 2 more weeks. We go back on the 23rd for a follow-up and laser treatment. Seth will get to go and see a laser treatment done so maybe he will understand why I always wanted him with me when I went for those treatments back at the beginning.

Looking back on the past 5 months seems like a lifetime. Now that I have gone back to work, I feel that I really didn't like my 'normal' life before Matthew. I absolutely LOVE being a mother to little Matthew Wayne. I will really miss those days that I spent alone with Matthew when Seth was at work. At the time I would get so frustrated because I was sitting at home all by myself, without a break and constantly upset because Seth was late...but now I wish I could have all of that time back. I am starting to realize that my life with Matthew will never be the same once I start back to work in the fall. Tonight when I put him to bed...I just held him so close and tight. He was squirming around and just wanted to be put down but I couldn't for a while. He is just getting sooooooooo big...not necessarily in size but in attitude. Man I long for those evenings where he would just fall asleep in my arms while I was sitting on the couch watching American Idol or some other show.

Pray that I find more of those moments and that our breastfeeding will not stop. It is so hard to believe that I resented feeding him for so long in the beginning. Well on the bright side, now I know the rewards of bonding for when we decide to have our next child.

I hope that Matthew will always know that he is truly my knight in shining armor!!!

Good night!